Chris and Kasia lived in Rockford, it is a small, quiet charming town, 60 miles away from Chicago. It was not a dream location of where you would like to live ones you move to America but at least it was safe.
On our way there from the airport, all you could see were fields, no sky rises, no beautiful designer shops, no breath taking views but fields, fields, fields.
Finally, we stopped at a big, beautiful house where Kasia and Eleanore lived.
Kasia was taking care of Eleanore for the past 2 years and now I was supposed to take over. Chris,on the other hand, was taking care of an older gentleman but he was more of a companion to him than a caregiver. he lived 10 minutes away from Eleanor.
Eleanore was an 82 year old lady who went through stroke and had hard time moving left side of her entire body. When I met her she was sitting on a big Lazy chair on which she spend most of her time. It was an uncomfortable feeling to introduce yourself to a stranger and proclaim that from now on you will be living and using that person's house while taking care of her.
I had no experience being a care giver or rather somebodies "doer". All I knew was that Eleanore was an older person who deserved as much respect and help as I could possibly give.
I must admit she made that statement very hard to fulfill.
Eleanor's family had one of the biggest businesses in Rockford, and yet were extremely thrifty, they made glass for cars, windows, mirrors, bathrooms, anything you could imagine and in the past Eleanor was the big boss. After the stroke she couldn't do that anymore and that caused a lot of anxiety,depression and anger in her.
Chris and Kasia new about it but never shared that piece of information with me. Three days after my arrival they left to Poland and to my surprise they never checked in. Chris did, ones, to make sure that I will send them my first check for giving me this job opportunity, I must admit great friend.
In three days, I had to learn as much as possible about Eleanor's life routine, every time I forgot about something she would get very frustrated and mean.
It was an overwhelming experience, in my eyes, she was a weak elderly person who needed help but it turned out completely opposite. I was the one who needed support, Eleanore was very set in her ways and needed my constant and instant assistance, she expected me to be her hands and legs 24/7.
Every morning, I was being woken up at 6 am by a bell, my job responsibilities were to help her get ready for a day, help her get up from bed, put her in a wheelchair, take her to the bathroom, prepare her for bath, wash her, dress her, undress her, do her hair, nail, make up, make breakfast, feed her cat, clean after her, make bed, clean after the cat, make lunch, clean the house, clean the outdoors, do exercises with her, take care of mail, do all her errands,make diner, prepare her for bed and finally my day was over by 9pm. I had never complained about anything I just wished she wasn't that quite. I was hoping that living with a native speaker would improve my English but she never thought of me as friend I was simply help. Eleanore would never talk to me unless it was connected to my choirs.
That situation lasted good eight months, no acceptance from her side at all. I think, that just after two weeks of being there I was crying every night. What upset me the most was that I was trying my hardest, I was always upbeat, I never complained I would take in all her orders and perform them right away , I would try to take her outdoors or rent movies, nothing worked.
That summer though something changed.
She would let me go outside and play volleyball twice a week for three hours and in a winter time I could go to a classes in the nearest community college. She didn't like the idea of me leaving the house, not even for a minute but she probably realized that I was getting more and more depressed and with her family intervention I was allowed to go. I just turned 21 then and I had no friends, no social life, no happiness.
After almost two years I left, I left with almost $80,000 in my banking account. Financial Independence was the only good thing that came out from this entire deal, me being able to move on and not worrying about place to live, car or food was great.
Eleanore was upset with my decision, she cried and didn't want me to leave which was very moving and sweet especially coming from her but I simply have had enough.
Working for Eleanore was intense and dramatic but after making the road smooth I thought bringing my sister over to replace me wouldn't be such a bad idea. My mother didn't know how to help her anymore and we thought her drug source would be caught out and things would straighten up. Oh boy, we couldn't be more mistaken.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Flight
My flight to America was my very first flight, I was scarred to fly for 10 hours and back then I didn't know the difference between 1st class and the rest of the plane. I was just happy to be on it.
After finding my seat, I sat between a family of 8. I thought, this cannot be so bad... until they started eating.
I was surrounded by a polish family whose language skills were not clear to me, their Polish was as horrible as their English and throughout the flight they kept eating pickles! Yes pickles , not one , not even two, I heard them bite on these damn pickles for 10 hours! I was so paranoid about that flight that I didn't even know that you are able to bring food on a plane.I don't think that I had a pickle since.
After we landed, I was expecting Chris to be there to happily welcome me in the greatest America unfortunately, he wasn't. I kept calling his phone but without any result.
Horrified, I sat on my luggage and started crying , while considering purchasing my ticket back home, somebody came to my rescue!
The Pickle Family. Ohh yes, they offered me their home and said that they will help me find a job and start a new life in some small city in Wisconsin. What? Strangers, small city, pickles! Hell, no! I was upset but my mind was still functioning!
I politely thanked them and assured that my friend will come. After 2 lonely hours at the baggage claim Chris came! I have never been so happy to see a familiar face.
"Where have you been?! I was worrying sick here" - where my first words to a friend who I haven't seen for 3 years.
After finding my seat, I sat between a family of 8. I thought, this cannot be so bad... until they started eating.
I was surrounded by a polish family whose language skills were not clear to me, their Polish was as horrible as their English and throughout the flight they kept eating pickles! Yes pickles , not one , not even two, I heard them bite on these damn pickles for 10 hours! I was so paranoid about that flight that I didn't even know that you are able to bring food on a plane.I don't think that I had a pickle since.
After we landed, I was expecting Chris to be there to happily welcome me in the greatest America unfortunately, he wasn't. I kept calling his phone but without any result.
Horrified, I sat on my luggage and started crying , while considering purchasing my ticket back home, somebody came to my rescue!
The Pickle Family. Ohh yes, they offered me their home and said that they will help me find a job and start a new life in some small city in Wisconsin. What? Strangers, small city, pickles! Hell, no! I was upset but my mind was still functioning!
I politely thanked them and assured that my friend will come. After 2 lonely hours at the baggage claim Chris came! I have never been so happy to see a familiar face.
"Where have you been?! I was worrying sick here" - where my first words to a friend who I haven't seen for 3 years.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
How did I end up in the greatest USA.
Hey You,
I decided to start a blog in order to share my experiences with people who are interested in leaving their native country for new opportunities.
No, not really, let me take that back, I am writing to see if a person who has never even carried a diary could write an interesting book.
Blogging is something that I have never tried before and why not?
Its new, hip and I want to meet people in a similar to mine situation.
Plus my story is better then Cinderellas !
Opportunities- hmm... we hear that word a lot , especially in America, don't we?
My new life opportunity started like this:
Some time in late November 2001, I received a phone call on my bigger then a brick cell phone:
1. Hallo? M.?
2. Yes, who is this?
1. Chris,
2. Who?
1. Chris, your beach volleyball partner,I am calling from Chicago.
2. Oh, Hi :)
1. Listen, Kasia (Chris's love) and I decided to go back to Poland and I know you have been waiting for an opportunity to come to the States, so here it is. Pack your bags and be here by January.
2. Whaaaat?...OK :)
And there I was, standing with open mouth, excited about a decision that Chris has made for me!
At that time I was 20 years old and my schedule was pretty boring. I was studying English at the University in Poznan, where I got accepted by a miracle! As a former volleyball player and a romance loving girl I never thought I would be that lucky.
I was never home, I either played volleyball or was out partying (just to remind you, in Poland, 18 is the drinking age) nevertheless I somehow managed to be surrounded by smart people, who gave me a lot of inspiration. Once I passed my Matura exam (the biggest step into adulthood) I knew it is a serious business from now on. I started studying day and night, stopped eating, got very skinny but results came!
There were 12 students per 1 spot at my university, they could only take 200 students in -and I was 1 of them. Not only did I get in but got all scholarships available and didn't have to pay for a thing!
My parents got divorced when I was 14 years old and since then, our financial situation was rather tough.
My dad was a brown Judo medalist in the Olympics in Moscow, sounds great, doesn't it?
Well..., not so much for us, he has never stopped celebrating that occasion and I only remember him being drunk, having anger problems and getting into trouble . He couldn't bear the fact that he was getting older and kept fighting people all the time. Usually because of my two cousins who kept calling him at 2 a.m for help ;) but still.
Yeah..., he was a great father, after the divorce I only saw him once in court for my child support money, he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
My mom is a great, beautiful woman, unfortunately with broken heart, she loved that abusing beast! After the split, she has never dated anybody , it has been 14years ! That woman needs to get laid !
I have not yet mention my sister, an 18 year old dating a 28 year old with 2 kids, at that time, his father was a doctor at my mother's hospital (my mom is a EKG nurse) just a great working environment for her, there was no end to the gossips.
Both my sister and her boy toy/man loved hard core metal music, drugs and ... and that's all they really loved.
My sister and I are very different, she loves to focus on the dark side of life and is easily influenced by anything that is bad for her. She needed constant attention, otherwise it was or rather is big trouble, BIG TROUBLE, you will see soon.
There is really nothing abnormal about our family, just regular craziness.
Going back to my education, after I got accepted to the English University, my entire life evolved around it. I was studying all the time, my mom started worrying because I lost my appetite and was a skinny stress ball that she couldn't recognize anymore. From a social, fun loving butterfly I transformed into a moth. I wanted to do well at school and with me not really having a good knowledge base I had to keep up with other students who have been focusing on English their entire life! They also had rich parents who could help, I was by myself. My mom's salary had to pay for bills and the damage that my sister was constantly creating.
I forgot to mention that before the divorce my parents had a big traveling agency, which stood for helping people smuggle illegal cigarettes and other goods to Germany, we used to have a lot of money but the divorce took it all. The divorce also came with the German discovery, German Border Police noticed the issue and made that business impossible :(
After Chris's phone call I panicked, I can't lie, studying English language made me want to come to the USA even more, it was definitely my biggest dream.
In my heart, I knew that something big will come one day and that chance was it!
A year prior to Chris's phone call I applied for a visa to America and as a pretty girl I didn't have hard time getting it, the worst part was waiting outside (nowhere to sit) the Polish Consulate in Warsaw. I was the chosen one again, there were 500 people who applied that day and only 55 got them. Ufff...
I have also been saving money for the past few years, money that I have gotten as presents from my grandparents. In Poland, you get money for birthdays, first name days, Christmas, or really any occasion, it is not $20 like it is in US, it is good business $100-$300 per occasion! I did have enough money saved for the plane ticket and little cash to take with me, unfortunately I borrowed it to my uncle who needed it for a great deal car purchase and as you can predict I have not seen this money till this day. I was furious, I lost my voice while yelling at him, in fact, I haven't spoken to him since.
In that case, what does a girl do?
She goes to her ex boyfriend to ask for help, my ex Pawel was a sweetheart but he was also totally broke, luckily he had a wealthy boss, who trusted him and gave him all the money I needed. I was in heaven and forever grateful.
During Christmas diner I announced my plans to my family. It was a very quiet Christmas diner, nobody was happy but me, after listening to the list of all the horrible things that will happen to me I packed and left.
On January 2nd 2002 I landed in Chicago !!!!
I decided to start a blog in order to share my experiences with people who are interested in leaving their native country for new opportunities.
No, not really, let me take that back, I am writing to see if a person who has never even carried a diary could write an interesting book.
Blogging is something that I have never tried before and why not?
Its new, hip and I want to meet people in a similar to mine situation.
Plus my story is better then Cinderellas !
Opportunities- hmm... we hear that word a lot , especially in America, don't we?
My new life opportunity started like this:
Some time in late November 2001, I received a phone call on my bigger then a brick cell phone:
1. Hallo? M.?
2. Yes, who is this?
1. Chris,
2. Who?
1. Chris, your beach volleyball partner,I am calling from Chicago.
2. Oh, Hi :)
1. Listen, Kasia (Chris's love) and I decided to go back to Poland and I know you have been waiting for an opportunity to come to the States, so here it is. Pack your bags and be here by January.
2. Whaaaat?...OK :)
And there I was, standing with open mouth, excited about a decision that Chris has made for me!
At that time I was 20 years old and my schedule was pretty boring. I was studying English at the University in Poznan, where I got accepted by a miracle! As a former volleyball player and a romance loving girl I never thought I would be that lucky.
I was never home, I either played volleyball or was out partying (just to remind you, in Poland, 18 is the drinking age) nevertheless I somehow managed to be surrounded by smart people, who gave me a lot of inspiration. Once I passed my Matura exam (the biggest step into adulthood) I knew it is a serious business from now on. I started studying day and night, stopped eating, got very skinny but results came!
There were 12 students per 1 spot at my university, they could only take 200 students in -and I was 1 of them. Not only did I get in but got all scholarships available and didn't have to pay for a thing!
My parents got divorced when I was 14 years old and since then, our financial situation was rather tough.
My dad was a brown Judo medalist in the Olympics in Moscow, sounds great, doesn't it?
Well..., not so much for us, he has never stopped celebrating that occasion and I only remember him being drunk, having anger problems and getting into trouble . He couldn't bear the fact that he was getting older and kept fighting people all the time. Usually because of my two cousins who kept calling him at 2 a.m for help ;) but still.
Yeah..., he was a great father, after the divorce I only saw him once in court for my child support money, he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt.
My mom is a great, beautiful woman, unfortunately with broken heart, she loved that abusing beast! After the split, she has never dated anybody , it has been 14years ! That woman needs to get laid !
I have not yet mention my sister, an 18 year old dating a 28 year old with 2 kids, at that time, his father was a doctor at my mother's hospital (my mom is a EKG nurse) just a great working environment for her, there was no end to the gossips.
Both my sister and her boy toy/man loved hard core metal music, drugs and ... and that's all they really loved.
My sister and I are very different, she loves to focus on the dark side of life and is easily influenced by anything that is bad for her. She needed constant attention, otherwise it was or rather is big trouble, BIG TROUBLE, you will see soon.
There is really nothing abnormal about our family, just regular craziness.
Going back to my education, after I got accepted to the English University, my entire life evolved around it. I was studying all the time, my mom started worrying because I lost my appetite and was a skinny stress ball that she couldn't recognize anymore. From a social, fun loving butterfly I transformed into a moth. I wanted to do well at school and with me not really having a good knowledge base I had to keep up with other students who have been focusing on English their entire life! They also had rich parents who could help, I was by myself. My mom's salary had to pay for bills and the damage that my sister was constantly creating.
I forgot to mention that before the divorce my parents had a big traveling agency, which stood for helping people smuggle illegal cigarettes and other goods to Germany, we used to have a lot of money but the divorce took it all. The divorce also came with the German discovery, German Border Police noticed the issue and made that business impossible :(
After Chris's phone call I panicked, I can't lie, studying English language made me want to come to the USA even more, it was definitely my biggest dream.
In my heart, I knew that something big will come one day and that chance was it!
A year prior to Chris's phone call I applied for a visa to America and as a pretty girl I didn't have hard time getting it, the worst part was waiting outside (nowhere to sit) the Polish Consulate in Warsaw. I was the chosen one again, there were 500 people who applied that day and only 55 got them. Ufff...
I have also been saving money for the past few years, money that I have gotten as presents from my grandparents. In Poland, you get money for birthdays, first name days, Christmas, or really any occasion, it is not $20 like it is in US, it is good business $100-$300 per occasion! I did have enough money saved for the plane ticket and little cash to take with me, unfortunately I borrowed it to my uncle who needed it for a great deal car purchase and as you can predict I have not seen this money till this day. I was furious, I lost my voice while yelling at him, in fact, I haven't spoken to him since.
In that case, what does a girl do?
She goes to her ex boyfriend to ask for help, my ex Pawel was a sweetheart but he was also totally broke, luckily he had a wealthy boss, who trusted him and gave him all the money I needed. I was in heaven and forever grateful.
During Christmas diner I announced my plans to my family. It was a very quiet Christmas diner, nobody was happy but me, after listening to the list of all the horrible things that will happen to me I packed and left.
On January 2nd 2002 I landed in Chicago !!!!
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