Caregiver

Chris and Kasia lived in Rockford, it is a small, quiet charming town, 60 miles away from Chicago. It was not a dream location of where you would like to live ones you move to America but at least it was safe.
On our way there from the airport, all you could see were fields, no sky rises, no beautiful designer shops, no breath taking views but fields, fields, fields.
Finally, we stopped at a big, beautiful house where Kasia and Eleanore lived.
Kasia was taking care of Eleanore for the past 2 years and now I was supposed to take over. Chris,on the other hand, was taking care of an older gentleman but he was more of a companion to him than a caregiver. he lived 10 minutes away from Eleanor.
Eleanore was an 82 year old lady who went through stroke and had hard time moving left side of her entire body. When I met her she was sitting on a big Lazy chair on which she spend most of her time. It was an uncomfortable feeling to introduce yourself to a stranger and proclaim that from now on you will be living and using that person's house while taking care of her.
I had no experience being a care giver or rather somebodies "doer". All I knew was that Eleanore was an older person who deserved as much respect and help as I could possibly give.
I must admit she made that statement very hard to fulfill.
Eleanor's family had one of the biggest businesses in Rockford, and yet were extremely thrifty, they made glass for cars, windows, mirrors, bathrooms, anything you could imagine and in the past Eleanor was the big boss. After the stroke she couldn't do that anymore and that caused a lot of anxiety,depression and anger in her.
Chris and Kasia new about it but never shared that piece of information with me. Three days after my arrival they left to Poland and to my surprise they never checked in. Chris did, ones, to make sure that I will send them my first check for giving me this job opportunity, I must admit great friend.
In three days, I had to learn as much as possible about Eleanor's life routine, every time I forgot about something she would get very frustrated and mean.
It was an overwhelming experience, in my eyes, she was a weak elderly person who needed help but it turned out completely opposite. I was the one who needed support, Eleanore was very set in her ways and needed my constant and instant assistance, she expected me to be her hands and legs 24/7.
Every morning, I was being woken up at 6 am by a bell, my job responsibilities were to help her get ready for a day, help her get up from bed, put her in a wheelchair, take her to the bathroom, prepare her for bath, wash her, dress her, undress her, do her hair, nail, make up, make breakfast, feed her cat, clean after her, make bed, clean after the cat, make lunch, clean the house, clean the outdoors, do exercises with her, take care of mail, do all her errands,make diner, prepare her for bed and finally my day was over by 9pm. I had never complained about anything I just wished she wasn't that quite. I was hoping that living with a native speaker would improve my English but she never thought of me as friend I was simply help. Eleanore would never talk to me unless it was connected to my choirs.
That situation lasted good eight months, no acceptance from her side at all. I think, that just after two weeks of being there I was crying every night. What upset me the most was that I was trying my hardest, I was always upbeat, I never complained I would take in all her orders and perform them right away , I would try to take her outdoors or rent movies, nothing worked.
That summer though something changed.
She would let me go outside and play volleyball twice a week for three hours and in a winter time I could go to a classes in the nearest community college. She didn't like the idea of me leaving the house, not even for a minute but she probably realized that I was getting more and more depressed and with her family intervention I was allowed to go. I just turned 21 then and I had no friends, no social life, no happiness.
After almost two years I left, I left with almost $80,000 in my banking account. Financial Independence was the only good thing that came out from this entire deal, me being able to move on and not worrying about place to live, car or food was great.
Eleanore was upset with my decision, she cried and didn't want me to leave which was very moving and sweet especially coming from her but I simply have had enough.
Working for Eleanore was intense and dramatic but after making the road smooth I thought bringing my sister over to replace me wouldn't be such a bad idea. My mother didn't know how to help her anymore and we thought her drug source would be caught out and things would straighten up. Oh boy, we couldn't be more mistaken.